So here I am 32 Weeks pregnant with #3, I was hesitant about revisiting this blog before now as didn’t think it necessary after Omble’s lovely birth but turns out birth trauma isn’t always as easy to heal as a positive 2nd birth. Now I am getting close to my third birth I am feeling a little anxious so thought would be helpful to blog it out.
I am in a hugely better place psychologically than I was with #2. If you remember when I was pregnant with her I had an elective section agreed and it wasn’t until after a megaton of therapy, support from the hospital and hard work on my part that I agreed to go for a vaginal birth again. It didn’t quite go to plan (my early epidural got taken off me due to a crash section) but it didn’t phase me and I had a 3hour labour on gas and air (still fecking hurt!) and was home same day. Was magic! Sadly my dad died when Omble was just three weeks old and that means pregnancy, birth and newbornness is associated with grief and trauma and with this being my 6th pregnancy (3 losses- one MMC at 10 weeks, one ectopic where I lost my tube and nearly died, and one early MC with mirena in) then I kinda want a nice straightforward mentally soothing time of it this time!
Have all my support networks in place, midwifes know, my consultant knows (he said very kindly- “prob best if you stay away from the obstetric team as much as possible this time!”- he knows waterbirth, gas and air and midwifes are what I want this time!), I’m getting supported by the same awesome supervisor of midwifes as last time (*waves if she is reading this as sent her the link!*) and I am having therapeutic support focusing on relaxation and reducing birth anxiety so I can go into this birth with the same calm mindset I had with #2.
So with 8 weeks to go I suspect I may add a few more posts just to carry on processing all this stuff and getting my brain into gear for birth of baby #3. I’m kinda excited and that can only be a good thing.