Just back from my last ever CBT appointment and realised how far I had come since I started going last summer.
The last three years (and first three years of married life incidentally) have thrown a huge amount of shit at me, Miscarriage, traumatic birth, worries about Munchkin’s future, PTSD, dealing with a being a mum to one, moving away from all my friends to a new area and starting again, 3 Grandparents dying (including my Grandpa who I was very close to), ectopic pregnancy, going completely loopy when pregnant with womble and dealing with the fallout from that, having womble and just when I think things are going to get better and trying to get on an even keel with being a mum of two, my dad dies. So at the minute trying to deal with a tantrumming toddler, a screaming velcro newborn, a knackered husband, a grieving mother and a mentally ill brother and grieve for my dad.
But you know what? I’m more resilient than I thought. If I have learnt anything in last three years it’s that I can and will get through this, it’s unutterably shit some of the stuff that happened but I don’t feel sorry for me (and to be honest I am slightly surprised when others do) as these things can and do happen to us all. I have my coping strategies when the going gets tough and have a few more in my arsenal now thanks to CBT so I’m just going to get on with surviving.
Thanks blog for being one of my coping strategies but I don’t need you in the same way anymore. I have started a random rambly blog for the odd thing but I want to keep that separate to here.
Yep I may end up a gibbering wreck at some point but at the minute I have my bunker mentality on, my blitz spirit is a gogo and other warlike metaphors- so I am off to live.
“To have lived is miracle enough”