Something I noticed recently is I am sometimes worried a little bit about how to talk to my incredibly wonderful and supportive friends who had ELCS’s for second births following traumatic first births now I have made the deciscion to aim for a vaginal birth (I am officially mad!) but especially when I make posts like “medal”. I just really don’t want to put my foot in it- I genuinely don’t think a VB is a “better” option than an ELCS but it feels like it is the better option for me right now. I just think I am genuinely not scared enough of a VB to warrant avoiding it plus there is no other reason now for me to ELCS (although I secretly wish there was!) so I just feel I don’t have a reason to choose ELCS over VB whereas all my pals had bloody good reasons of their own to choose ELCS over VB. Does that make sense?
I know I am probably overthinking but I really really hate it when people make me feel bad for my choices (remember my fave phrase in response is now “fuck the fuck off to fuckery and back again”) and I would be really really sad if I made anyone feel bad for their choices so I kinda wanted to ramble about it a bit and try and get it clear in my head.
I mean I know I need to be responsible for my own feelings about it just as my friends need to be responsible for theirs but and this is going to sound really really incredibly daft but I had so much support from my friends who had ELCS second time that I almost feel I am letting the side down by breaking ranks like this! But that is daft as I know my lovely friends support me in whatever I decided so I will shhh now.
But dear friends- if I ever do inadvertently make you feel bad for any reason please tell me yeah- we can sort it out.