My own VB/ELCS decision- where I’m at at ~30weeks pregnant

My current thinking on my own decision?  I have gone from 60:40 VB:ELCS (during my second trimester) to now around 30:70 VB:ELCS.

Now I am 30weeks and feeling the baby move and judging by how uncomfortable I am already I now think this is another big baby (growth scan in 4 weeks will help with decision).  I simply cannot risk not being able to get another big baby out and sustaining damage to Womble as a result. I know women can have big babies successfully especially second time but I wouldn’t be able to go into a vaginal birth confident that I could do it and that obviously could and would affect how I labour.   Also I need to consider damage to me.  I was very lucky that I haven’t really sustained any lasting damage from birthing a 4.25kg (9.5lb) baby via forceps with a second degree tear and episiostomy last time.  I am healed physically- but another big baby could cause damage and obviously I want to protect myself from that.

Even if this baby turns out to be less than ~8lbs (my decided threshold) then that leaves me with 6weeks to prepare mentally and physically for a vaginal birth- I am not sure I can feel ready and confident in that time (although I have been trying some stuff throughout this pregnancy too but only halfheartedly as it is a lot of effort when you don’t know what you are deciding yet, and you have a mental toddler to look after!).

If I was to try a vaginal birth again I already know I would need to get my consultant to agree to a trial of labour with very low intervention for CS :

• Scanned regularly in final weeks to check position if non-optimal (munchkin wasn’t fully back to back but was at a jaunty non brilliant angle to be born in)- straight to CS
• If I panic, get triggered, can’t cope- straight to CS
• If baby shows even the slightest hint of distress or anything isn’t going as it should- straight to CS
• Not interested in being induced (~50% of incuctions end in CS) so if it looks like I would need to be induced then – straight to CS.

I have already those points onto a vaginal birthplan (plus questions) and I think it would be a good idea to also write a CS birthplan (plus questions) to take to my consultant appointment at 34weeks after the growth scan.

The list above makes CS look a quite likely option, I’m not sure circumstances can be favourable enough for a good VB next time. Also the trouble is that a CS after a trial of labour is classed as an emergency section.  In some cases this may still be a calm and relaxed affair, in others it could still be quite traumatic- in terms of making my own choices I would feel more in control than last time but another traumatic worrying situ about the baby could make things worse.  Also a C-section on a non contracting (not in labour) uterus is much easier to heal from than a C-section on a contracting uterus.  So although a vaginal birth is still an option it is looking less likely now. And I’m okay with that.