I met someone who had a C-section for “lifestyle reasons” and I didn’t judge!

If you read my previous post on “Not to posh to push” you saw that I worried about the notion of judging the genuine “too posh to pushers” but I had never actually met one (but I did think I might secretly judge one- and feel bad for it).

But then I met a lovely lady recently who had C-sections for lifestyle reasons.  She runs a b&b with her husband- they simply couldn’t afford to have a 4week window of not knowing when the baby was coming. They shut on the thursday, had the baby on the friday and were open again a few days later.

I can honestly say hand on my heart I didn’t judge her choice even for a milisecond (although interestingly she might possibly judge herself a bit due to the way she described herself, but then I think I would describe it exactly as she did- she was very droll and funny and lovely).

It utterly fascinated me. I honestly thought I might judge people who had C-sections for “less valid reasons” but firstly who are people to judge what on earth makes a choice a “valid reason or not” it really is down to the woman’s choice.   I was really really pleased that I didn’t judge at all as this was interesting for two reasons:

a) because I am not as judgemental as I worry I am and try not to be.

b) If I:- “little miss hoiky judgypants cats bum mouth woman” (blame my mother for teaching me such skills) can genuinely not judge in such situations then surely then most other women aren’t judging as much as I think they are? So the very notion of fear of judgement by other women is flawed in itself.

Interesting thinkings.

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About LadyCurd

Likes ladybirds & lemon curd. On reflection combining the two names was a mistake.
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4 Responses to I met someone who had a C-section for “lifestyle reasons” and I didn’t judge!

  1. helen says:

    fascinating stuff!

    a lovely (but not super close) friend gave birth yesterday by EMCS after failed inductions. I don’t think, without having read your blog, that I would have considered how she might feel about this. Well, probably that she was disappointed not to have her home water birth as ‘planned’ but perhaps not issues of failure or disappointment in self. I hope I shall make more supportive or appropriate noises as a consequence. Or at least avoid massively putting my foot in it. Only major problem is he’s come out at 4.6kg…i suspect the (not yet finished) newborn sized cardie may not be of any use!

    • 4.6kg! Munchkin was 4.25kg and that was a shock. Can you knit a few extra rows to the cardie!?
      I think thing I needed most postnatally was ears to rant at but not to say “there there at least baby is here and ok and you are both alive and ok” etc as then I felt bad for not feeling okay about it if you see what I mean.

  2. Little Me says:

    It’s horrible being judged for having a C Section be it emergency or elected. I wanted an ELCS for my birth but was persuaded to go vag. Over here you can choose an ELCS. I wish I had done.

    18 hours of labour later and they realised the baby was too big.

    I had an EMCS. I KNEW I needed an ELCS from the beginning. And next time, if there is a next time, I will get an ELCS.

    • I think that is partly my issue with deciding whether or not to have ELCS for Womble. (Munchkin was forceps, episiostomy and oxygen deprived). It really annoys me that it is part of my issue, that is partly why I was so pleased it turned out I wasn’t as much of a judgypants as I thought because if I am not then probably other women aren’t either its just our perceptions of feeling/being judged that maybe the issue? If that makes sense.
      And Pintsized people should never ever be made to birth big babies naturally. I’m a hulking amazonian of a woman with mahoosive childbearing hips and I still couldn’t manage to get out a 9.5lber so anyone smaller than me shouldn’t! They say second babies are bigger so erm once growth scan at 34weeks then I will know what I am doing!

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