A few years ago I did an inspirational training once that got us to encourage ourselves to challenge negative beliefs. From that training I also adapted it into a lesson to do with young people about their own negative beliefs and just last week I trained a load of practitioners in how to support young people with challenging negative beliefs.
So um yeah you’d think this kinda stuff would be a walk in the park for me then! Um nope!
One thing we have to recognise is that beliefs act like filters on the world and then also affect our behaviour. Beliefs aren’t truths- they can maybe be disproved or proved but invariably they are only “truths” for the person holding that belief. What are the benefits of you holding this belief? In what way does holding this belief cost or limit you?
One thing my CBT is teaching me is to catch myself when I think those negative self beliefs and challenge myself on them. We are also going to look at using the EMDR to swap some of those negative beliefs for more positive ones within my traumatic memories. Some of them are too personal to write about here but one of the ones I can write about is how I often feel guilty and a failure for giving up on Munchkin at a distinct point in her birth (the point where I didn’t care where either of us died -and it is that point we are working on in EMDR as it is the most distressing memory). My logical brain knows there was nothing more I physically could have done to get her out but my irrational brain is often “If only I had tried a bit harder, not given up etc etc.) So we are going to work to challenge those feelings of guilt and failure and replace them with “I did my best”or other more positive spin things.
So yeah I am going to become my own best spin doctor!
And dear reader- maybe you want to also try challenging yourself on some of those unhelpful beliefs, if nothing else is a fun thought experiment.