Adding to the trauma- a friend becomes an ex.

Two things made my post natal experience so much harder than it had to be.  I thought it would be helpful to blog about them and get them off my chest. The other one can be viewed here.

One of the hardest things I had to deal with in the aftermath of munchkin’s birth was turning to a close friend (I wanted her to be one of munchkin’s moral guardians and considered her one of my closest friends) and this friend turning round and basically telling me she couldn’t be there for me, and couldn’t support me.  This supposed friend was 30weeks pregnant with her first baby herself, now I appreciate hearing about a friends traumatic birth may not be what you want to hear when you are 10 weeks away from labour yourself, but I was trying to minimise what I said about that (although knowing me was probably a bit cackhanded). but I wanted support for me and my daughter in intensive care- it didn’t have to be about the labour and anyway for fucks sake bad births are not infectious!

I really just wanted a friendly face and a hug but she couldn’t do that so after many texts we decided to leave it for a bit.  We didn’t really speak that much for a few weeks until I eventually saw the birth announcement on facebook including- “thank-you so much for everyone’s support we feel very special” or words to that effect.   I was totally and utterly gutted by this.  How nice for her to have a birth that didn’t result in intensive care and to also have the support from family and friends when she needed it.  So of course I sent her an email – in hindsight not the best idea – but I tried to clarify how I felt about the situation and how sad it was making me.

I didn’t recieve a reply for over a week.  What I got back was the coldest most heartless email I have ever recieved. I deleted it and her from my life and we have never spoken since.

The situation still makes me really sad though- I really valued her friendship previously and I still don’t really get why it all went so wrong, and sometimes I do miss her (the nice her anyhow).  It did make the hardest time in my life so much harder to bear. Also our daughters were 10weeks apart- they would have been friends. We could have shared experiences of motherhood together.  We were all friends as couples too so I miss her partner who is a top bloke.

Ah well- if nothing else is cathartic to rant about her cruelty in a blogpost. Maybe one day she will read it and realise what a bitch she has been. Doubt it. 🙂


About LadyCurd

Likes ladybirds & lemon curd. On reflection combining the two names was a mistake.
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4 Responses to Adding to the trauma- a friend becomes an ex.

  1. Pingback: On epidurals and pain in labour- long. | childbirthptsdandme

  2. Pingback: Adding to the trauma- Evil postnatal midwife from hell | childbirthptsdandme

  3. Pingback: My post-natal ward story- very very long! | childbirthptsdandme

  4. Pingback: Strategy- Ignorance is Bliss! | childbirthptsdandme

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